yea. i have changed my blog add... haha. but i didnt tell anione except keeann cux he asked. yeah.. i tink some people will find it super weird why
http://pasteurize.blogspot.com/ no long lead to that real emo blog. the answer is simply cux someone changed it to another address. not that i dun have a reason though, i just thought that a emo blog affects one's mood, so, i thought i should make it less available to everyone. its just such a pain to remain sad and emo, so i might as well let others lead a happy life and not be affected by my posts yea? hahs. yea, i guess throughout the years, through my blog, i have attained the title of being a emo kid. sometimes i thought why i have to be one, but mayb its just who i am? but i guess some people will think that im faking my way through the blog since i m that noisy and irritating in school. i guess, its time to remove that mask of mine? i shall not be that irritating and crazy animore. i hope i can persist and remove that mask of mine, as in, having worn it for such a long time, it kinda got stucked. but i guess, its time that its removed. i no longer see the need to look cheerful when im not, i no longer see the need to act crazy when im not, i no longer see the need to remain as the "wan bao" when somtimes i just get so tired of it. ironic huh? maybe upon seeing this, many will just exclaim "not want to remain as wan bao? what a joke!" but if you are to want to treat it as a joke, so be it. i no longer see the need to explain anithing of mine to anibody. i m really thankful to that someone. im serious. from the bottom of my heart, i thank him, for being so truthful to me. yea, maybe i did cry after seeing those, maybe i really got emo after seeing all those, maybe i really teared into dreams after seeing those, although my heart will suddenly contract, making me so uncomfortable after seeing all those. but, i thank him, for telling me the truth. i guess i have known the truth for a very long time. i know it, but i just refused to accept it. i thought i am right to continue since mayb i can appear less emo, and people will not say im dao and all those. but i guess, im wrong. goodbye mask, he reminded me of my stupid doings. mayb its time to stop. anws, this incident has also reminded me of what the fortune teller told me years back. i guess he is right, but i just didnt heed his advice. maybe, its time i do. treating myself better is maybe one of the solution. actually, i thought i should try not to care about how others look and feel about me and just be myself, but i guess it will be real hard. i tried it once, and it turned out that people are so against me. is it really that hard to accept the change? sometimes i just want to be who i am and not who others want me to be. no one is perfect in this world, but why is it that you choose to look at people's good but chose to look at my bad? or is it simply because frederick neo is just a rotten apple to all of you. many things happened all these while. all the words, all the actions, make me feel so hurt, feel so tired. yea, maybe sometimes i will just smile, i will just laugh, but i confess, deep inside, im really hurt. maybe its a joke, maybe im taking it too seriously, but have you ever thought that those words actually matched with some other stuff which further proved to me that my deductions were right? i really feel super lonely now. yesterday, i felt really down, but i could find no one to talk to. i wanted to find kee ann. but i know he wouldnt understand since we are in different schools, so he wouldnt know what exactly happened. but i must say, if anything outside school stuff were to happen, he will be the first i will confide in. maybe i should just count myself lucky, cux i have such a friend in my life. (: thanks kee ann.
anw, i m really glad that i changed my blog add. haahas. i know somehow, sooner or later, this link will be found again. but at least for now, not many people really know this link, so at least i can write alot, shout out alot, without worrying about how people will laugh at my post. its so stupid isn't it? my heartfelt words, every single word deep down from my heart turned out to be a joke. turned out to be something that people memorises and laugh about in their daily gossips. sometimes i just laugh my way through, sometimes i looked as if i cant be bothered, but i do. who wouldnt? you guys are my friends after all! what you guys say, what you guys do, mean alot to me. im serious. but mayb this line gonna turn out to be a joke again. hahs. thats fate, thats life. im a joker. but not the dark knight joker of cause.. im not that psyco... haha. but on a side note, he rocks man! his acting skills are superb. XD
ARR!!! ---> thats exactly i wanna do. i wasted these 4 days! hahas. 2 days cux i thought i should let myself relax, and the other 2 days cux i was straightening out my thoughts, cux i got really affected that i couldnt focus on anithing. i mux apologise to my family cux i think these 2 days, my temper was super bad. i sincerely apologise. but rest assurred, i will not do it again. if i say im feeling better, i would be lying. but i don't want to. i will put it bluntly. I AM HURT. but its okay i guess? the hurt is worth it, cux its better than any alarm on earth! it woke me up immediately. i learned, and i would change for the better. (: i told you that one should change. but we shouldnt change to fit what others want us to be. but for me, this time, its different. im changing into who i want to be. a better man. hahas. mayb by doing so i can attract more gals too. XD but with my looks, aiya. i think... forget it. i shall just change to be a better man to attract more friends. hahas.
WA!!! i realise by writing out all these my post turn out to be super long!!! omg. hahas. aiyox. i pity those who will be reading this post. sorry man~ make u guys go through such a long lousy essay. paiseh lahs! hahas. but this really made me feel better (eh. liddat contradict with what i say just now! hahas. but u should get what i mean?). WOOHOOOOO!!! thanks blogspot! for providing me with such a medium to express myself. hahas. arrhhs. maybe if there were to be any GP essay on blogging i can pen down my real life experience.. maybe... say " according to professor neo, blogging is a good way for one to relieve their inner emotions when they find they have no one to talk to..."----> memorise this k? maybe it will help you in your prelims.. XD
hm.. yea. i think i have written down all that i want to say...
oh ya. i tried writing another song yesterday... but i failed ): i wanted to include all those emotions that surged through my blood, but the tune doesn't seem to go right, and i keep having flashbacks which made me really irritated. so i abandoned. shall remember this feeling and pen down my lyrics another day... BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH ME GUITAR!!! or at least how to do cords with piano. I'm such a lousy grade 6 pianist. ha ha. i cant even do accompaniment. urgh... noob me!!! if only someone would enlighten me~ will i be able to start composing more noob songs. but i guess i still got a long way to go before i'm able to come out with something appealing... the songs now are like.. EEEEEE~!!!! hahas.
ok~ bye bye. i shall go off now. i have wasted 4 days... its time to do some homework for tml.. shall not disappoint my teachers. hahas. homework!!! here i come!!!
