in memorial

"... "As long as you follow someone, you will forever be behind him.", I remember my first mentor telling me. But I soon realized that following someone than improving on it on your own terms wasn't even enough, because it was in someone else's initial direction.

Those that inspire us, who motivate us can be such strong reasons to be like, to follow. But I've learned to identify what makes them strong, learn and try to apply, but move on.

What speaks from yourself, can never be from another person. What impresses you can be the inspiration of another person, but what inspires you comes from moments, situations in life; its what makes you. Nothing like that can ever coincide perfectly with another human being. ..."
-reuben kee-


i've learned alot... recently, i've been following the news on the tragedy tt happened in Cambodia... one that resulted in us losing 5 promising young talented singaporeans... went online to read more... went to their blogs... and i've learned alot.. got inspired, and at the same time, got to see how useless i am... the fact tt i werent able to realise all those... the fact tt i have been living in my own world... in the past, i used to think i haf grown by alot, mentally, physically.. i thought i have matured and am ready to b an independent adult... but now, i realise i m terribly wrong. i am far frm a mature adult. i am still lying in a bed of roses, under the protection of my parents, away from danger, away from fear. i thought i perfectly mastered the art of treating people around me, of judging someone... but i realised i m totally wrong.. i arnt good at those... or should i say i failed in doing all those.. i realised that i have been hurting ppl arnd me... i realised tt i have been shattering people's deam due to my selfishness. how ignorant of me to b tinking tt i m alwaes right and ppl whu differ from my thinking are wrong... i should and i must... grow up... to learn to think right.. to treat ppl right.. to b someone selfness.. more importantly... learn to decide what is right... i have been wasting my time... wasting ppl's time... cux i have never put my heart and soul in anithing.. in the past, now... but not in the future.. i promise i will sort things out... b sure of what i want... going all out for it... not wasting animore time.. not wasting ani other ppl's time.. i promise..

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