this is the 223rd entry... time really flies~ Got a little bored right after prelims, and started to run through the stuffs that i have been keeping all these while. i realised how much i have in the little box of mine, letter, notes, photos, autograph book, so much so much that brought back memories. while reading through the every page, every letter, i smiled. how much i yearn to go back to the past, how much i hated myself for not treasuring what i used to have.
i never knew what it mean when people say that its good to stay as a child, what it mean when people say how precious innocence might be. now, i know. its such a blessing that innocence do exist in our life, how sweet it is, that everyone at that stage of life treat each other truthfully. you don't plot against people, you don't say you like the person when you don't, you simply give your all if u like that person. how straightforward life has been in the past, you just need not think that much into things isn't it?
As, you grow up, things really change, the people around you, the environment, every single thing just changed. yea, some might say, changes are inevitable in life, and i don't deny that's a fact, but sometimes, this stupid me, just can't stop myself from thinking back. comparisons kill, i know. i just wonder, how many people here, reading this post, agree that they have smiled less, laughed less as they grow up. for me, i realised all these turned into a luxury. i realised how much less i have been smiling, how much less i have been laughing, i mean, those smiles and laugh that really came from the bottom of your heart. i wonder if it is just so hard to stay happy, or is it just me who keeps thinking too much?
i guess, over the years, how people see me has never changed. bad, i must say. that proves that i haven really changed for the better i guess? maybe i should start some constant reminder to make myself constantly aware of the things that i do. i hope, within this year, i would change to be a better person. i pray.
looking at the every photo that i took, i saw the many faces that accompanied me through thick and thin and i hated life. i hated the fact of life that causes changes, and changes that causes human relationships to fade. at every transition in life, we seem to lose the one that we loved, the one that have been through thick and thin with us, just because we are forced to go on different paths, pursuing our studies. how sad can life be? how hard it is to find that someone in life, the friend that you can trust and depend on, and how easy it might be that he will be gone? it has always been the case since young isn't it? i remembered, how i silently sat in a corner of the class when we were allocated to different classes in our primary 3 days. i remembered how i lied on the table, ignoring everyone else in the room, and how my tears rolled down uncontrollably, because i knew, once we are in different classes, we will never be as close as we used to be. i remembered how i assured myself and him in primary 6 that even though we might be going to different schools, our friendship will not change, that we will try hard to keep in contact. but i guess, that never happened... maybe, i just didn't try hard enough.
i hope and pray... that such things will never happen again... although i know they will...
i told myself that i should do it, and i guess i will. if its meant to be it will be right? i guess i Will send out the letter then. if it ends like that, i will be convinced that i have tried.
i tot me and kok agreed to make ugly face?! is he ugly???hhaha
omg. this photo is disgusting!!! lol
the pact we made with gary~ ARR!!! KINPHANG POSER!!!
