insane, stupid, dumb!

i m totally insane...
i m totally stupid...
i m totally irritating...
i m totally dumb...

i seriously hates this character of mine... thinking too much into things.. why carnt i jus be like some ppl? totally ignorant? why carnt i jus stop thinking so much?! STOP BRAINS! STOP FUNCTIONING! I M SUFFERING ENOUGH! I M BREAKINGDOWN! i feel like shouting.. but there is no where for me to do so... i dont dare to tell anione.. cux i m afraid they will be affected because of me... i m more afraid tt ppl will jus find me irritating and crazy... i noe alot of ppl will think " stop all these nonsense... u r crazy.. " mayb i jus am. am i talking too much? am i wasting your time? i dont noe~ i m continuing my search.. but i guess.. i will never find it.. i m a loser. i should jus b shot and die. yea. mayb like some ppl sae. my presence is jus a waste of resource...

my heart feels so pain..
its contracting...
my tears are rolling...
but i mux stay strong...
bottled up...
i should drown everything in my heart.

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