end of the week

today marks the end of the week of schooling. hahas. yep! no school on thurs and fri!!! woots. how nice can that be... but i suppose, this also signifies that its time to really get serious in studying~ arrr.. but i cant seem to do that... can anione out there help me with this... ):


Anws, todae is the last session of our long term cip at bukit panjang primary school. theres this kid who went up to me and sae " im very sad. cux todae is the last session and we dont get to see each other animore..." at this point in time, i dont know how i should react. really. happy? cause someone appreciated the work that we have done? that we did help the kids in their math? or shld i feel sad? because we didnt put up a good show todae? in fact, i got kinda disappointed with the performance today. but i guess, i have no one to blame except for myself, being so inefficient, being so not prepared. its not that easy to lead the crowd i guess? no matter what happens, its always your responsibility to get things going right. even if people delay stuff, its you who should be chasing after the work, cause you and you are responsible for that. ahhas.. seriously, i salute those successful leaders... cux it really isnt something that easy. anws. yea. its all over. 8 sessions of hard work, its finally over.


our gp tutor is leaving. i dunno hw i should react, how i should feel. am i thinking too much into words? or is it just as we inferred? i seriously wonder. why is life so fragile, so unpredictable? i hate myself for not being a good student for the past few months. mayb i shld haf paid full attention like what i haf done todae, instead of dreading gp lessons. i felt the guilt, i apologise. but i guess apology can do nothing much, cux i realised this all too late. when she strted showing us the materials that she has prepared for us, it reminded me of how i complained that she doesnt compile stuffs for us when in fact she does. as she was going through those pile of worksheet, i had this strange feeling... and i hate it... i cant sae its sadness, but its just a disgusting feeling that i hate, i despise. nxt wk, theres a change, a new tchr who retired i guess? i hope its a change for the better... maybe its time that i reflect, that i look back... maybe its only this that will prevent me from ever regretting my actions.


a moment of warmth,
a moment of cold,
a moment of love,
a moment of hate.
its that difficult to reach,
its that difficult to melt.
sometimes i thought i succeed,
but i woke up from my dreams.
taking a little step forward,
but retreating a big step back.
should i or should i not.
am i or am i not.
doubt filled me...
answer me...
should i continue,
or should i stop.

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